Artificial Absolutes (Jane Colt Book 1) Page 30

  Jane blurted out, as if against her will, “I saw the hostage video. The Seer must’ve put it on the Stargazer. And I was eavesdropping when Mom and Dad were—were talking about it. I… I know Dad was gonna leave you there.”

  Devin kept his face still even though he couldn’t stand the thought of her listening to their parents arguing over if they would let him die. I can’t let her feel sorry for me. “I was in on it. It was my idea.”

  “Liar. I saw the look on your face in that video.”

  “It was an act. Just another scheme to get money for the warlords.”

  Jane glared in silent protest.

  Devin tried to ignore her. “Mom agreed to the ransom. She went behind Dad’s back and contacted Faceless, and they arranged a drop. They killed her when she came.”

  Jane covered her mouth with her hand, and her eyes glistened.

  “So there you have it.” Devin kept his tone flat. “Mom wasn’t assassinated by some evil gang. She died because of me. I might as well have pulled the trigger myself.”

  His mother hadn’t died instantly. She’d been hit several times through the stomach. Devin had managed to get away from his captors long enough to rush to her side and see her bleed out.

  His mother had given him a firm look, unafraid of her imminent death. “Devin, swear to me you’ll survive. I don’t care what you have to do—just survive.”

  His captors had caught up to him and torn him away as she’d taken her last breaths. I’m so sorry. I wish they’d shot me instead.

  Jane uncovered her mouth, revealing a firm line. Almost palpable heat radiated from her eyes. Good. Hate me, Jane. Curse me. Walk away from me, and feel nothing when they execute me.

  She stood motionless for an uncomfortably long time, then shook her head feverishly, her wrath swelling into desperation. “That can’t be true. Devin, you said you’d give it to me straight. What aren’t you telling me?”

  Devin did his best to avoid his sister’s furiously pleading gaze. Even when he turned away, he could still feel her stare. “Dad found out what she was doing. He called the authorities, and they went in, guns blazing. Mom was caught in the crossfire. That’s all there is to it, I swear. All of it’s my fault.”

  Jane shook her head again. “No. It’s not. It can’t have been. If—”

  “I’m the one who’s to blame.” Devin pointed at himself. “She’s dead because of me. Dad’s dead because of me. Forget Faceless; forget No Name. I killed them. I killed your parents, Jane!”

  Jane kept shaking her head, tears streaming down her face. “No, you didn’t. And Dad’s alive. He’ll recover.”

  “He won’t.” Devin leaned down to her height, his face inches from the transparent wall. “They can keep him on life support forever, but he’ll never wake up. He’s dead. They’re all dead because of me!”

  “Devin, stop it!” Jane banged a fist against the wall. “I know what you’re doing, and it won’t work. Do you really think I’m that stupid?” She smiled sadly. “You can’t make me hate you, bro. You’re all I’ve got.”

  “There’s more.” Devin straightened. “I told ISARK everything I knew about Legion, and they were all unveiled, their faces and locations leaked to the Net for everyone to see. They became a liability, and Faceless took them out.”

  “You didn’t kill them. And Riley told me how you rescued him from Travan Float.”

  Devin looked at the ground. “Riley doesn’t know what I did to find him.”

  Faceless had this sick game where they set their prisoners loose in the wilderness and hunted them down, tantalizing them with the hope of escape. They even armed and trained us so it’d be more of a challenge, telling us that if we didn’t put up enough of a fight, we’d be slowly tortured to death. I didn’t want to die before getting justice for Mom. I targeted Black Knight because no one knew what he looked like, and somehow I got the better of him. I destroyed his body so Faceless would think I was the one killed, then joined the hunt for the others. I as good as became Black Knight. It’s haunted me ever since.

  He recalled Commander Vega’s harsh words and echoed, “I hunted Black Knight like an animal, and I killed him in cold blood. I took his identity and became a merc for the warlords.”

  “So you could be an informant.” Jane bit her lip. “Devin, it can’t be a coincidence that their network collapsed the same time you were undercover. Don’t say you had nothing to do with it. It was all over the news when they fell.”

  Devin’s frustration overtook him. “Goddammit, Jane! Are you hearing anything I’m telling you? I’ve gotten away with murder, and it’s finally caught up to me. I’m a killer and a terrorist and if it wasn’t for this, I’d be here for something else. Now you know who I really am. I’m a monster, so you can stop looking for justice. This is justice!”

  Jane buried her face in her hands and cried, shaking uncontrollably.

  Devin wanted to embrace her and apologize. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for what he’d done, wanted to beg her for forgiveness.

  But he couldn’t. She can’t be sorry when I’m dead. “Crying won’t change anything.”

  Jane looked up, her tearful eyes so hurt Devin had to look away for fear of losing his mask. “You wanted the truth, and there it is.”

  “Stop trying to make me hate you. It won’t work. I can always tell when you’re lying.” She tried to smirk. “Little sis powers. I’m going to save you.”

  Devin gave her a disdainful look. “You can’t save me. No one can save me. Even if I wasn’t on death row, you still couldn’t save me from who I am, from what I’ve done, and what I’d planned to do. I would’ve killed Kron. If I’d found the people behind No Name, I would’ve killed them too. Just like I killed our parents. You should be glad I’m going.”

  Jane opened her mouth to speak, then stopped. It was the first time he’d known her to surrender.

  A guard entered. “Five minutes, Miss Colt.”

  Jane looked down and nodded. The guard left.

  She inhaled deeply, then faced Devin. “Please promise me one thing.”

  “What is it?”

  “Promise first. I want you to swear it.”

  Devin’s searing guilt made him inadvertently say, “Anything. I swear.”

  “I want you to request a Via Counselor. I… want it done by someone who cares, not a—a clinical stranger. Someone who can… hear your last confession and everything.”

  “Jane, I’m not religious.”

  “I know, but… I’m worried about your soul. I’m worried you won’t go to heaven.”

  Devin couldn’t help smiling humorlessly. “That was never in doubt. If there is a hell, I’m bound straight for it.”

  “Not if you… ask the Absolute for forgiveness and atone for your sins. The Absolute One is all-forgiving and all-merciful. If the Counselor is there for you, you can be saved.”

  What? Jane’s always been an outspoken atheist. Where’s this coming from? “I guess Adam finally converted you.”

  “Yeah, that’s right. Please, just… do it. For me. You swore already.”

  More silence. More stares.

  Devin nodded. “All right.”

  Jane wiped her eyes as more tears fell. “I’ll know. They’ll give me the record of… what happened, so I’ll know if you’re lying again. Dammit, Devin! Don’t you dare be lying again!”

  “I’m not.” He’d already hurt her so much. If something as trivial as requesting a Counselor would bring her comfort, he had neither reason nor right to deny her. “You shouldn’t be sorry for me. After what I’ve told you—”

  “I don’t care!” Jane pressed her hands against the transparent wall, as though trying to push through it. “Devin, you’re my brother, and I don’t care if you killed some merc or helped warlords or wh
at! I don’t blame you for Mom’s death or anything else. Get that through your head!”

  Devin turned away, wishing he could make her forget he existed.

  The guard returned. “Time to go, Miss Colt.”

  Jane didn’t move, instead just looking at Devin as though she wanted to tell him something more, something she couldn’t say.

  Devin closed his eyes. “Go, Jane. It’s over now.”

  “I love you, bro.”

  “Good-bye, Pony.”

  No use lay in dwelling on what he should or shouldn’t have done, no point in struggling against what was to come, no meaning or relief through painful ruminations over what it meant that his life was ending. Devin chose to spend his last hours blocking his mind of thoughts, trying to forget all he’d discovered and all he left unresolved. He’d once done his best to become an empty shell, like Sarah turned out to be. As his death neared, he sought that indifference again.

  It’s fitting that she chose me. I was as fake as she is, and in a way, as mechanical, just doing as I was commanded.

  After ending his disastrous search for purpose, Devin had done his best to erase the impulsive young man he’d been. He would finally succeed. No one should mourn for me.

  He was barely aware of the guards escorting him to the death chamber, hardly noticed the hooded Counselor waiting there. He couldn’t tell whether it was a man or a woman who muttered religious nonsense as he lay back in the execution chair. The detachment in his mind left Devin deaf to the sound of his or her voice, and he didn’t care enough to try to glimpse his or her face.

  He lay motionless as the guards strapped him down, staring at the empty white ceiling.

  The Counselor measured out the lethal drugs, performing some meaningless ritual all the while. “Devin Colt, listen to me.”

  Devin had ignored all the offers for prayer, but that last statement, unexpectedly firm, caught his attention.

  “You have the right to a last confession. Is there anything you want to say?” The Counselor was a man, a very young-sounding one.

  The familiarity of his voice chilled Devin. “No.”

  “Look at me.”

  Devin turned his head, and his eyes widened as he recognized the boyish face beneath the hood. Adam?

  “The Absolute is all-knowing and compassionate.” Adam had an odd look in his eyes. “You can trust in the Absolute to ensure that all will be well.”

  Someone who cares. Was that why Jane had insisted Devin request a Counselor?

  Adam brought up the needle. “O Absolute One, may You forgive he who is about to see You and allow him to rest eternal in everlasting peace.”

  As Devin felt the needle pierce his arm, he saw Adam’s lips move, forming words that looked like: Trust me.

  Chapter 19

  Composure, Exposure

  Riley typed as fast as he could, scrambling to disable anything that might inform the Kyderan authorities of his and Citizen Zero’s actions. The Pandora assholes weren’t making it easy. “I hate the Pandora Project! You monkey-fightin’ excrescence! Don’t you have other evil plans?”

  He sat on the floor of the counterfeit Blue Tang, which Jane had sweet-talked some pirates into selling her. She’d thrown money around the Fringe until someone tipped her off about the vehicle, which looked like every other private craft in the IC but was armed and supposedly untraceable.

  “You’re doing good, Riley. It’s gonna work. It has to. It will.”

  Riley looked up at Jane, who was in the pilot’s seat. “Uh… Duh? I’m the best, remember?”

  The plan was simple: Get Devin to request a Via Counselor and send Adam with a head full of how-to-fake-a-death knowledge instead. That part had been easy. Citizen Zero had taken a page out of Pandora’s book of evil and faked a bunch of docs. The hood—plus people’s tendency to trust anyone who spoke religious mumbo-jumbo in a priest outfit—had taken Adam the rest of the way.

  Jane twisted to face Riley. “What if Adam gets the formula wrong? The tiniest slip-up and it could actually kill him. What if we can’t get him the antidote in time? He could be comatose forever. What if—”

  “Yo, knock it off.” Riley checked the window on his slate. “You’re distracting me.”

  “Sorry…” She was so wound-up her voice shook.

  The decent thing to do was to say something encouraging. Riley took a deep breath. “Hey, listen. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Adam won’t screw up. He’s pretty smart for a nov. I mean, the whole fake-out thing was his idea in the first place, right? Not to mention he’s totally in love with you.”

  Jane started to say something, but he didn’t hear her protest as a warning popped up on his slate. “Shush! Gotta concentrate!”

  Good as he was at speedy programming, knowing that his friend’s life was at stake made Riley nervous as hell. It’s just a stupid med scanner. I shut down a big fat warship. I hacked freakin’ BD Tech. I think I can make one dumb machine tell everyone a guy who’s not dead has no life signs.

  It was probably the oldest prison-break method in the universe and had been attempted about a gazillion times before, but Riley and Citizen Zero would be able to get around the Kyderans’ safeguards and make it work one more time. He pumped his fist as he took control of the med scanner. “Hah!”

  The bad guys locked him out again. His grin twisted into a grimace. He hustled to re-hijack it. “You mud-eatin’ buttheads! Go make a robot clown or something! Ugly, mush-brained sleaze-pots!”

  A few minutes passed. Riley dropped the slate and pumped both fists. “Hah!”

  “Is he through?” Jane smiled. “Of course he is. You’re awesome.”

  Riley felt kind of warm and fuzzy. “Uh… Thanks. And yeah, he’s through.”

  He stretched his arms, glad for the break. Jane was still all jittery, and he felt bad that his previous attempt to reassure her hadn’t worked. Maybe I can distract her instead. “Yo, Janie, I’ve got a random question: Why does Devin call you Pony? Kinda weird for a nickname, isn’t it?”

  A look he couldn’t interpret crossed Jane’s face, one that seemed kind of sad. Maybe talking about the guy who was in danger wasn’t the best way to make her chill. “Sorry… uh… You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

  Jane leaned back in the pilot’s seat and turned her gaze to the viewscreen. “It’s all right. I just haven’t thought about it in ages. All I remember is that when I was nine, Devin was in the hospital for several days. I heard Mom and Dad giving him a hard time about being weak. Doesn’t sound right, does it? Well, ‘Colts are stronger than that.’ They wouldn’t let me see him, so when he came home, I snuck into his room from the window. Mine was right next to his.

  “He let me in but wouldn’t say anything. He looked really upset, like he’d rather be anywhere else. I kept asking what was wrong, and finally, he told me he hated the Colts and what it meant to be one—how he could never be good enough, how his life wasn’t really his. I didn’t understand, but I wanted to cheer him up, wanted to let him know I didn’t expect anything, so I said, ‘I’m not a Colt. I’m a pony!’ It was stupid, but it made him laugh. He’s called me Pony ever since.”

  Riley wasn’t sure what to make of the story. “Oh. Cool. So, was he sick?”

  “I don’t know. His wrists were bandaged, but no one would tell me what happened. My guess is that he messed with the wrong crowd during some dumb teenage misadventure and got himself knifed.”

  Riley’s slate pinged. A warning message told him the Pandora people were trying again to alert the authorities to the scanner hack. “Assholes. Leave me alone already!”

  He had no reason to be nervous. He was the best. As long as his fingers could move, the evil corporation should fear him.

  “Miss Colt, your brother’s body will be delivered to yo
u for a burial in space, as you requested. Counselor Young will arrive at the landing pad with the casket in ten minutes. I’m sorry for your loss.”

  No, you’re not, you freaking tool. “Thank you, sir.”

  Jane stepped over Riley, who sat cross-legged by the cockpit entrance. She pushed the ship’s door open, extended the ramp, and walked down. She’d rather wait outside than sit in that chair any longer, feeling pulverized by the “what-ifs” in her head.

  She glanced back at the counterfeit Blue Tang. A shudder shot through her body. She stubbornly attributed it to the chilly weather. The dark blue ship looked almost identical to hundreds of others in and around Kydera City, but the off-brand appearance and hidden cannon seemed glaringly visible to her.

  Everything’s fine. They did allow me onto the landing pad.

  She placed her hands in the pockets of her somber black pants and clutched the two weapons she’d brought: a stunner and a flash grenade. She’d also been mindful to tie up her hair and wear shoes she could run in—just in case.

  “I almost hope we do find trouble so I’ll have an excuse to shoot someone,” she’d said to Adam three hours ago, when he’d arrived at her apartment to pick up the Counselor’s robe she’d obtained. “I guess I should be careful what I wish for.”

  Outside her window, the warm golden rays spilling over the horizon had mocked her. They told her that even if everything went to hell and she lost her brother to a deceived justice system, the real world would turn on as hers shattered. “Adam, tell me it’ll be all right. I know I’ve made fun of you before for it, but… Tell me everything’ll work out.”

  Adam put his arm around her in a comforting embrace. “Of course it will. No power in the universe can stop you once you’ve set your mind on something, and Riley, as he loves to remind us, is the best.”