Artificial Absolutes (Jane Colt Book 1) Read online

  Eaglewing leaned forward. The new girl had big eyes and long dark hair that was kinda poofy. She wore Mandi’s usual getup: tight purple shorts and a see-through lace top over a black bra. But despite her slutty clothes, she was… cute. Not that fake baby-doll type of cute. Actually cute.

  The holographic letters spelled “KITTI.” She looked confused as she walked across the stage and took her place. She put a hand on her hip and popped it out, then ran the other through her hair, craning her neck back in an exaggerated version of what the other girls did. A little half-smile played in the corner of her mouth, as if she thought the whole thing were a big joke she might as well have fun with. She seemed shorter than the others—she wore normal-looking black boots instead of tall, spiky shoes.

  The rest of the introductions went on as expected: blue-haired Roxi, babyish Chastiti, super-curvy Kerri. The girls formed a V with Van Dinh as the point. Two ropes dropped from the ceiling. A pair of black-haired girls in gold catsuits entered. They climbed the ropes and twisted themselves into them as the holographic letters spelled, “VALERI & NIKKI.”

  “And now, saving the best for last—the pride, the glory of all Travan, that goddess of heat, our very own Hellfire Queen—Juli!”

  Van Dinh left. The crowd hollered enthusiastically. A long-legged girl with a sheet of golden hair pranced up the center of the stage, shining in her flame-colored light-up dress. She took her place at the center of the V, her name spelled out behind her in glittering fireworks.

  The intro to a popular club song boomed over the speakers. Juli opened her mouth seductively and belted it out. The other girls sang backup and improvised sexy dances while the two girls on the ropes performed fancy flippy tricks.

  Eaglewing hooted with everyone else, but he felt a little tired of the whole shindig. He knew why the girls’ stage names were emblazoned so brightly. Guys had to know their names to request… private shows afterward. Yeah, the Furis were hot, but Eaglewing had been a regular at Hellfire 13 long enough to tell that they were drugged out and dead-eyed, going through the same motions every night in limp, half-hearted movements.

  Except the new girl. Her eyes were bright and alive, and she seemed to be having a blast as she oohed and ahhed in the background. Her movements weren’t exactly sexy, but they were damn cute. Eaglewing could hear her above the others when she came in at the chorus:

  “Let me burn.

  “If it’s with you, I embrace the fell.

  “Even the gods above can’t save me now.

  “Doom awaits, and I don’t give a damn.

  “I’ll let you drag me straight to hell.”

  Her voice was pretty, not cracked from trying too hard. Her enthusiasm seemed genuine—and innocent.

  Eaglewing fixated on her as the Furis continued their performance. He wondered how a nice girl like that had ended up on Travan Float and fantasized about rescuing her. He glimpsed Fedora staring at her with a stupefied expression. For some reason, that made Eaglewing unhappy.

  After the Furis finished their last song, a staircase extended from the edge of the stage. Juli flounced down and into one of the VIP rooms. The other girls scattered, some twisting themselves around the stripper poles and others suggestively approaching select club patrons.

  Fedora gawked at Kitti. “Didja notice the new girl?”

  “Yeah.” Eaglewing followed the girl with his eyes. She looked lost as she crossed the dance floor.

  Van Dinh strode toward her. “You! New girl! VIPs requested you. Get your ass in there with Juli.”

  Kitti crossed her arms. “I don’t think so.”

  “Whadaya mean?” Van Dinh grabbed her wrist and yanked her toward him. “Listen, you little bitch—”

  “No, you listen!” Kitti twisted out of his grip. “I’m only here because your girl Mandi overdosed and you were hollering in the alley about needing an extra body on stage. I don’t work for you! You should thank me for covering your ass!”

  “You said—”

  “I said I’d fill in for the show, and that’s all.”

  “I’m calling—”

  “Who? The boss? I’m sure he’d be thrilled to know how you screwed up and let one of your girls get wasted. So I’m walking away, and you’re not gonna stop me. Got it?”

  Van Dinh scowled. “If you don’t come with me right now, you’ll be sorry.”

  Kitti grabbed a gun from a tall woman’s holster and aimed it at Van Dinh’s face. “Now will you leave me alone?” She sounded more exasperated than threatening.

  She turned to the tall woman, whom Eaglewing recognized as a merc identified only by her distinctive silver armbands. “Sorry, ma’am. I just need to borrow this for a minute. Some guys can’t take a hint!”

  Oh, shit. What’s she thinking?

  The lady merc regarded Kitti for a moment, then glowered at Van Dinh. “I’d listen to the girl, if I were you.”

  Van Dinh opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, mouthing wordlessly like a dumb fish.

  Eaglewing snickered. The girl had him cornered. She had a mercenary on her side. And you don’t mess with the mercs. Most were really assassins who did other stuff in their spare time, like transport dangerous shit. Piss one off, and your head could end up backward on your shoulders.

  Van Dinh sputtered, “You—you’re—you’re not getting paid!” He stormed off.

  Kitti smirked. “Oh, no. Whatever will I do.” She handed the gun to the lady merc with a grateful smile. “Thank you, ma’am.”

  “Watch yourself, kid.” The lady merc put her gun in its holster and walked away.

  Fedora ogled. “Whoa, she’s awesome.”

  “Yeah, that was pretty epic.” Eaglewing ran through some pickup lines in his head, trying to find a way to approach Kitti without creeping her out. He was suddenly very aware of the heat in his face and really wished he hadn’t chugged that beer. His usually pale complexion probably looked redder than the Deroon sun.

  Fedora hopped off his barstool. “Yo, Kitti!”

  Kitti turned around. “Yeah?”

  “You were awesome on stage and even awesomer when you chewed out Van Dinh. Can I buy you a drink?”

  She pushed her eyebrows together. “Who’re you?”

  Fedora took off his hat and bowed with a dopey grin. “Fedora, at your service.”

  Eaglewing joined his buddy. “And I’m his pal, Eaglewing. Y’know, you were by far the best one up there. I could hear your pretty little voice above the others. You a pro or somethin’?”

  Kitti looked past him. “I’m just a wandering musician, taking random gigs like the rest of my kind.”

  Eaglewing knew what that look meant. She was trying to escape.

  Fedora seemed to notice as well. “How about that drink?”

  “No, thanks.” She walked toward the tables.

  Eaglewing followed. “What’re you lookin’ for? We practically live here, so we know everything worth knowin’.”

  Kitti stopped. “I’m looking for a demon. I heard this is where a lot of them hang out. Know any good ones?”

  “You’re in luck!” Eaglewing jerked both thumbs at himself. “We happen to be two of the best demons on Travan Float.”

  “Really?”

  Fedora butted in, “We’re members of the Gag Warriors. Remember that whole Paladin Glen thing?” He patted his chest with pride. “Yeah, that was us.”

  Eaglewing was annoyed at his pal for taking the spotlight. “It was my idea. I was like, what does anyone know about the talking heads they listen to? Let’s mess with their heads by makin’ a fake one!”

  Kitti cocked her head. “You’re not a real hacker, then. You’re just a prankster.”

  Eaglewing pointed at the club’s entrance. “We hacked the guard bot back when
we were kids! Y’know, the big scary thing that keeps unwanted people outta the club? Yeah, we messed with the codes and made it bow to us when we entered. We’re legit.”

  Fedora lifted his chin boastfully. “We’ve done stuff for Madam Wrath herself. We were the ones she hired for the Gaipoi job.”

  Kitti blinked, apparently clueless. “What’s that?”

  “You’ve never heard of the Gaipoi job?” Eaglewing spoke before Fedora could answer. “Madam Wrath got pissed-off at the warlord in charge of the Gaipoi Quadrant on Djuvai, so she put together a Travan crew to steal some of his favorite shit. She personally came down here and hired us to hack the security cams! They woulda failed if it weren’t for the killer virus we wrote.”

  Kitti laughed.

  “Hey, I’m not makin’ this up. Ask anyone here!” Eaglewing waved at a nearby demon. “Yo, Wine! Who was the reason the Gaipoi job went down so smoothly?”

  Wine grimaced. “If I say, ‘You two,’ will you shut up about it?”

  Eaglewing took that as the testimony he needed. “See? We’re good!”

  Kitti arched her eyebrows. “Nice.”

  Fedora grinned. “Now will you get a drink with us?”

  Kitti batted her eyes. “Okay, one drink.”

  Man, she’s cute. Eaglewing flagged down the multi-limbed robot hovering behind the bar. “Bartender! Three beers!”

  The bartender bot acknowledged their orders with a ding-ding and floated off.

  Eaglewing sat down beside Kitti as she climbed onto a barstool. “So, your name’s not really Kitti, right?”

  Fedora took the seat on her other side. “Of course not. No one goes by their real names here. So’s it Katherine?”

  Kitti tucked a strand of long, wavy hair behind her ear. “Now why would I tell you? You didn’t tell me your real name.”

  Fedora jerked his thumb at Eaglewing. “He’s Dave Adlersflugel, and I’m Saul Sharda.”

  You dumbass! Eaglewing looked around hastily. Everyone seemed too wrapped up in their own business to have been listening. He decided to roll with it. “Y’know, Adlersflugel means ‘Eaglewing’ in one of the ancient languages.”

  Fedora tipped his hat. “I just like fedoras.”

  “Fedora…” Kitti drew out the word. “Doesn’t that sound a little effeminate?”

  Eaglewing burst out laughing and slapped the bar. “She thinks you’re effeminate!”

  Fedora shot him a pissed-off look. “At least I’m not a dork like you! Who remembers the stupid dead languages?”

  Kitti smiled sweetly. “Don’t get me wrong. I think fedoras are great. More people should wear hats.”

  Fedora looked as if he might melt.

  The bartender bot returned with their beers. Eaglewing pulled his glass toward himself. “Hey, we told you ours. What’s yours?”

  Fedora guzzled half his drink. “Lemme guess. Scarlet?”

  Kitti giggled and shook her head.

  Eaglewing threw Fedora a disgusted look. “That’s a stripper name, you moron. She’s a nice girl. So, is it… Alice?”

  “Adrianna?” Fedora said.

  “Amber?”

  Kitti raised an eyebrow. “Are you gonna go through every name alphabetically?”

  Fedora grinned. “Yeah, till we get it right!”

  She smiled coyly. “Fine. It’s Jane.”

  Fedora threw his hand up. “Oh come on! I told you our real names!”

  “That is my real name. I’m just plain Jane. Sorry to disappoint you guys.”

  Eaglewing inched closer to her. “Hey, I like it. Sounds classy.”

  Jane pulled away. Eaglewing, not wanting to be a creeper, backed off.

  A green-haired demon known as Gambler waved in his direction. “Fedora! Eaglewing! You heard? Word’s going around the float that Black Knight’s back in town.”

  Eaglewing swiveled his barstool to face him. “C’mon, Gambler, how many Black Knight sightings have there been over the years? And how many turned out to be legit?”

  Gambler approached the bar. “I overheard it from a Wrath Guard, and he seemed pretty sure.”

  Eaglewing scoffed, “You’re also the one who believes the scammers who say they’ve captured an intelligent alien.”

  Gambler jutted his chin. “Hey, you never know. Space is big.”

  Fedora twisted around to face Gambler. “Dude, we’ve settled hundreds of worlds over hundreds of years. If there were intelligent aliens to be found, someone woulda run into them by now. Stop being so fucking gullible!”

  Gambler scowled. “When Black Knight shows up and starts shooting up the place, don’t say you weren’t warned.” He made his way over to the tables and joined Wine.

  Eaglewing spun his stool back to the bar. “That guy’ll believe anything.”

  Jane watched Gambler and Wine curiously, as though eavesdropping on their conversation.

  Eaglewing tried to regain her attention. “There’ve been tons of rumors about Black Knight, but I’m tellin’ ya, he’s gone. He slipped up last time he was here. Lost his signature helmet and let everyone see his face. Fedora and I were there when it happened, and, man, it was epic. There was this huge firefight, and then he blew up half the storage sector going after one little demon. Talk about overkill!”

  Jane kept her gaze on Gambler and Wine. “Who was he?”

  Eaglewing leaned back so she’d see him. “One of the most notorious mercs Travan’s ever known. I got here after his heyday, but pretty much everyone who lives here has something to say about him. I mean, this guy wasn’t just scary, he was sick.”

  Fedora piped up, “Even the bosses were afraid of him. He was in and outta here for a decade before he disappeared six or seven years ago. Everyone’s been wondering what happened to him.”

  Jane had a funny look in her eyes. “I see.”

  Eaglewing took a swig of his beer. “So, what’s a nice girl like you doing in this shithole? Why’re you lookin’ for a demon?”

  Jane lowered her eyelids and closed her mouth into a little pout.

  Fedora leaned toward her with concern. “What’s wrong?”

  She looked up with her big dark eyes. “Can I be straight with you guys? It’s just… weird… I don’t know how to tell you…”

  “With words!”

  Eaglewing smacked Fedora.

  Fedora winced. “Ow!”

  “You deserved that!” Eaglewing turned back to Jane, ignoring Fedora’s grumbles. “Hey, you can trust us. You’ve got our real names. That’s the ultimate trump card around here.”

  Jane hesitated. “I’m looking for two… machines. Big, boxy robots capable of extending multiple appendages. No one’s seen them before, and I have no idea who owns or controls them. I know it sounds insane, but…” She sighed. “I have to find them.”

  Eaglewing recalled something he’d seen on the Net a few days ago. He patted the bar in excitement. “I’ve hearda that! Corsair posted it all over the Collective’s forum! Before No Name deleted it, that is.”

  Jane’s eyes brightened. “You know Corsair?”

  “Yeah! He’s in the Gag Warriors with me ’n’ my buddy here.” Eaglewing stroked his chin. “The machines you’re talkin’ about, they’re these weird-ass blue things on wheels, right?”

  “Exactly! Corsair said they were somewhere on Travan Float but couldn’t get more than that.” Jane’s face fell. “I don’t know if anyone can help me, though. If Corsair couldn’t find them, who can?”

  Fedora perked up. “Uh, we can? Corsair’s good and all, but we’re pros! I’ve hacked this float so many times I’ve lost count! I’ll find your machines in fifteen minutes, tops!”

  Jane looked at Fedora admiringly. “Could you?”

  Eaglewing was bumm
ed he hadn’t volunteered first. “I’ll bet it’ll take less than ten! And the number’s a hundred and seven.”

  Jane turned that admiring look toward him. “Whoa, that’s impressive.”

  Eaglewing grinned, lost for a moment in those eyes.

  Fedora whipped his slate out of his pocket.

  Eaglewing craned his neck. “What’re you doin’ over there?”

  “Finding those machines, duh!” Fedora typed furiously.

  Eaglewing got up and went over to him. “They still usin’ that password algorithm?”

  “Yup, dumbasses. Okay, I’ve remoted into the Wrath Guards’ drive. What’d we call the wares we left there last week?”

  “G-R-A-Five-S-Zero and F-Three-R-N-A-N-Zero-Zero.” Eaglewing looked over Fedora’s shoulder. “Whadaya know? They’re still there! Make that five minutes.”

  Fedora opened a program. “Ugh, their coding’s a mess! It gets worse every time!”

  Eaglewing glanced at Jane. “It’s ’cause we keep messin’ with it, and they never figure out how to put it back.” He pictured Madam Wrath’s people puzzling over the code and sneered. “I’ve left some real doozies in the comments. So why do you wanna find those machines?”

  Jane put a finger to her lips. “It’s a secret.”

  Fedora elbowed Eaglewing. “Dude! You gonna help or what?”

  Eaglewing and Fedora did their thing while Jane watched. They’d hacked the float so many times before that, even though Madam Wrath’s security people kept changing stuff around, the basics were the same.

  Eaglewing was right. It took a little more than five minutes to access the security footage.

  Fedora pumped his fist. “That’s gotta be a record! Uh… So there are a lotta cams. Tell me if you see something.”

  He pressed an icon, and the feeds from the float’s numerous cameras flashed across the screen one by one. A few minutes passed. Eaglewing didn’t look for the machines, though. He stared at Jane’s pretty little face.